An ostrich

An ostrich

I cannot help but feel misplaced. It seems as if everyone around as it all figured out. Everyone has a secured job and a signifigant other. I try to be happy for everyone as I look forward to their weddings.Although, inside I feel so lost. Why is it so hard for me to be intrested in anyone? I wish I didn’t lose intrest after a short five minutes. I want to have those conversations in the middle of the night for hours on the phone with someone special. I wish I could have a meaningful connection, the one that you hear about in books. The kind of special spark that can never burn out even when they days are rough. I want to feel comftrable sharing my thoughts and letting my soul be naked.

Sometimes it keeps me up at night, the thought of never finding anyone. You know when you want to have something so bad your bound to get it saying? Well it hasn’t really kicked in for me. I always told myself that having a job is the most important security. But in th midst of all the college degrees, I forgot about myself. The last few years I have become a working machine. I was always an unsual girl. ambitious to persue whatever was in my way. I have overcome so many challenenges. The biggest accomplishment for me was to open my business several years ago when I just fifteen. I hope I don’t come across as those hopless romantic kind of girls. But truth be told, I just want someone to share my life with. Someone you can tell everything too.

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A great big world

A great big world

Firstly, I haven’t written anything for so long and I feel so lost. I wasn’t quite sure what to write, but I missed having a place to share my thoughts. So forgive me if its not well composed.

Its so crazy how connected we are in today’s world. It only takes the touch of a finger to talk to anyone in the world basically. I would be awestruck when my mother used to tell me, that when she was young they only had one phone in the entire town. Thankfully to social media you can connect with anyone in seconds. This last month, a childhood friend of mine was visiting town. It was nice to see her after so many years. She is almost like a sister to me. It made me wish that the world wasn’t so big, because she is just one of those people you can always have a good time with. It was nice to hear about her experinece in living out of the country. I am always so intruged by the richness in every culture. The way she described the trip to her everyday life made me wish I could travel there too.